But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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Blank Slate

I wish someone would shake me. I wish they would make me feel alive.
I think I am insane. I never feel fully awake, even when I'm not tired.
Disconnected.
Where did my reality go? I sleep, eat, sleep, eat, eat... Puke. I never imagined I could consume such huge quantities.
1 big bag chocolate covered popcorn, 1/2 gallon ice cream, 4 cups soup, one bowl spaghetti, 1/2 pkg sugar cookies, 2 chicken breasts, 1/2 pkg graham cracker cookies 10 Krispy Kremes...
My sugars. Don't ask. I'm not even vomiting unless I feel sick.
I want to reply to you all. To tell you not to give up. I'm sorry. I've just been sleeping so much. And I can't think.
I can't feel anything at all.
I am at a loss for words, tabula rasa.

4:25 AM - Monday, Aug. 08, 2005
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dying - living