dimstar's Diaryland
Diary
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Thursday, Aug. 23, 2007 - Thanks to my Diarylanders :) Sunday, Jul. 15, 2007 - A Video You Should All See Wednesday, Jun. 27, 2007 - Newspaper Article! Monday, Jul. 10, 2006 - Keep Fighting Monday, Jul. 10, 2006 - Keep Fighting Saturday, May. 06, 2006 - Better Saturday, Apr. 29, 2006 - Update Saturday, Mar. 25, 2006 - - Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2006 - On Fear Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006 - And they all came together and one fell out Thursday, Feb. 09, 2006 - Clarification Sunday, Feb. 05, 2006 - Arrrgh! Sunday, Feb. 05, 2006 - I Suck Saturday, Feb. 04, 2006 - Eating Disorders Wednesday, Feb. 01, 2006 - Euphoric Tuesday, Jan. 31, 2006 - Back together Saturday, Jan. 28, 2006 - A Slip, But I'm Okay Monday, Jan. 23, 2006 - Yes! Sunday, Jan. 22, 2006 - I can do Well Friday, Jan. 20, 2006 - Stinging Words Thursday, Jan. 19, 2006 - I Don't Know What I Want Wednesday, Jan. 18, 2006 - Pics of Course! Wednesday, Jan. 18, 2006 - I Want... Sunday, Jan. 15, 2006 - Me & Jewlz & Rambles Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 - Difficult Wednesday, Jan. 11, 2006 - Logic Monday, Jan. 02, 2006 - Arrrgh! Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005 - A New Car Monday, Dec. 26, 2005 - Merry F'n Christmas Friday, Dec. 16, 2005 - Happy :) Wednesday, Dec. 14, 2005 - A Kick in the Face Sunday, Dec. 11, 2005 - Done Friday, Dec. 09, 2005 - So Good Sunday, Oct. 30, 2005 - Grateful Thursday, Oct. 27, 2005 - A quick Hi Monday, Oct. 17, 2005 - Day Treatment ~ \"Halfway\" Home Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2005 - ...In Treatment... Monday, Sept. 12, 2005 - Visiting Hours Monday, Sept. 05, 2005 - A Last Entry Friday, Sept. 02, 2005 - I'm going to Rader Friday, Sept. 02, 2005 - Confused Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2005 - Treatment Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005 - Binge, purge, drink, sleep Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005 - Its Nothing but a Cycle Monday, Aug. 29, 2005 - Rant Sunday, Aug. 28, 2005 - Later... Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005 - Terrified Friday, Aug. 26, 2005 - Labs & Such +I'm Happy Today Thursday, Aug. 25, 2005 - Nothing Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2005 - Treatment and Such Tuesday, Aug. 23, 2005 - I'm Still Here Thursday, Aug. 18, 2005 - Go Away Saturday, Aug. 13, 2005 - Sorry Friday, Aug. 12, 2005 - You Wouldn't Believe Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005 - Turning a New Leaf Monday, Aug. 08, 2005 - Blank Slate Friday, Aug. 05, 2005 - And It Was All Repetition Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005 - I Don't know... Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005 - Tired Wednesday, Aug. 03, 2005 - Kid Pictures Monday, Aug. 01, 2005 - Running Out Of Time Sunday, Jul. 31, 2005 - Ghastly Thursday, Jul. 28, 2005 - Sigh Monday, Jul. 25, 2005 - Birthday Sunday, Jul. 17, 2005 - Better Saturday, Jul. 16, 2005 - Nothing... Wednesday, Jul. 13, 2005 - Fuck Fuck Fuck Tuesday, Jul. 12, 2005 - I shouldn't bother Monday, Jul. 11, 2005 - Today's Goals Saturday, Jul. 09, 2005 - A Battle Saturday, Jul. 09, 2005 - Tired Rambles & Promises Thursday, Jul. 07, 2005 - ...Sigh Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2005 - Confused and Sad Tuesday, Jul. 05, 2005 - Im A Fucking Loser Monday, Jul. 04, 2005 - Am I Here? Saturday, Jul. 02, 2005 - I feel shitty about doing well Saturday, Jul. 02, 2005 - A Better Day Friday, Jul. 01, 2005 - All The Same Wednesday, Jun. 29, 2005 - I Tried... Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2005 - Really Scared Sunday, Jun. 26, 2005 - Normalcy Gone Friday, Jun. 24, 2005 - Truth Sunday, Jun. 19, 2005 - Dysfunctional Thursday, Jun. 16, 2005 - I Just Can't Thursday, Jun. 16, 2005 - I Did It :) Wednesday, Jun. 15, 2005 - Nothing Much Tuesday, Jun. 14, 2005 - Selfish Girl Sunday, Jun. 12, 2005 - 28 Hours Binge Purge Free Saturday, Jun. 11, 2005 - ER scare Friday, Jun. 10, 2005 - Doing Better, Thoughts Thursday, Jun. 09, 2005 - Why I am not Trying Wednesday, Jun. 08, 2005 - Pointless Tuesday, Jun. 07, 2005 - Im Here, Alive.... Wednesday, May. 25, 2005 - A Great Day Wednesday, May. 25, 2005 - Fuck Tuesday, May. 24, 2005 - Two More Days :) Can You Feel It? Sunday, May. 22, 2005 - Crimson Fires Saturday, May. 21, 2005 - Anger Wednesday, May. 18, 2005 - Stop!!!! Tuesday, May. 17, 2005 - Going... Sunday, May. 15, 2005 - Planning Thursday, May. 12, 2005 - Shooting Stars Tuesday, May. 10, 2005 - Too Much Tuesday, May. 10, 2005 - Too Much Sunday, May. 08, 2005 - Update on Bailey Sunday, May. 08, 2005 - Disasterous Thursday, May. 05, 2005 - Hunger Wednesday, May. 04, 2005 - Alone Again Tuesday, May. 03, 2005 - Thump thump thump thump!!!! Sunday, May. 01, 2005 - Better Sunday, May. 01, 2005 - Why? Friday, Apr. 29, 2005 - Something Worthless Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2005 - A Failure Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2005 - My Secret Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005 - Debt Again Monday, Apr. 25, 2005 - Summer! Sunday, Apr. 24, 2005 - Every day, its all the same... Friday, Apr. 22, 2005 - Dr. Appointment Tuesday, Apr. 19, 2005 - Another Day in Purgatory Sunday, Apr. 17, 2005 - Rambles Friday, Apr. 15, 2005 - A much needed survey Friday, Apr. 15, 2005 - Another Ordinary Day Thursday, Apr. 14, 2005 - I Will Never Go Hungry Again Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2005 - Determined Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2005 - Unlocked so Soon Monday, Apr. 11, 2005 - I Just Don't Sunday, Apr. 10, 2005 - Falling Friday, Apr. 08, 2005 - I Am Sorry to All of You Friday, Apr. 08, 2005 - Its Over Thursday, Apr. 07, 2005 - Strangeness Wednesday, Apr. 06, 2005 - I Talked to Claire! Tuesday, Apr. 05, 2005 - Normal Again Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005 - Poison Cupcakes Saturday, Apr. 02, 2005 - Walking in a Dream Friday, Apr. 01, 2005 - Dreaming Nightmares Friday, Apr. 01, 2005 - I Just Don't Want to Live Wednesday, Mar. 30, 2005 - I Really Should Not Have.... Tuesday, Mar. 29, 2005 - I am on TV!! Friday, Mar. 25, 2005 - Spring Break Continues! Tuesday, Mar. 22, 2005 - Drink, Drank, Drunk Tuesday, Mar. 22, 2005 - Drink, Drank, Drunk Sunday, Mar. 20, 2005 - Evacuation Thursday, Mar. 17, 2005 - A Stranger Thursday, Mar. 17, 2005 - Exposed Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2005 - - Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2005 - Critical Thinking Monday, Mar. 14, 2005 - A Better Outlook Sunday, Mar. 13, 2005 - Breaking the Diet Friday, Mar. 11, 2005 - Ethics and Such Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005 - Sunshine & Swimming Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005 - Nightmares and Reminiscing Tuesday, Mar. 08, 2005 - Failing Monday, Mar. 07, 2005 - Out of Darkness Saturday, Mar. 05, 2005 - Not Yet Stabbed Friday, Mar. 04, 2005 - Breaking Thursday, Mar. 03, 2005 - Stupidness Thursday, Mar. 03, 2005 - Constant Dreams Wednesday, Mar. 02, 2005 - Treacherous Acts Monday, Feb. 28, 2005 - Ru and the Scale + job & school Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005 - Friday Scares Friday, Feb. 25, 2005 - Bedtime Thoughts & Cambodia Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2005 - Scattered Mind Monday, Feb. 14, 2005 - Valentines Monday, Jan. 31, 2005 - Never Turn Away Wednesday, Jan. 26, 2005 - I'M Here... Thursday, Jan. 13, 2005 - Fighting the Mind Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005 - Getting Back On My 2 Feet Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005 - Uh-Oh Oreos Tuesday, Jan. 11, 2005 - I Give Up Monday, Jan. 10, 2005 - Binge, Vomit, Omit Insulin... And for What? Monday, Jan. 10, 2005 - Pictures!!! Saturday, Jan. 08, 2005 - Slipping Saturday, Jan. 08, 2005 - First Good Dr. Appointment Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2005 - The Battle Tuesday, Jan. 04, 2005 - I Will Not Last In This False Utopia Thursday, Dec. 30, 2004 - Vacation= Relapse Temptation Wednesday, Dec. 22, 2004 - It Will Be Okay... Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2004 - Blue and Black Moods Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2004 - Senseless Sunday, Dec. 19, 2004 - Dark Sunday, Dec. 19, 2004 - Deserved Saturday, Dec. 18, 2004 - Hidden Faces Friday, Dec. 17, 2004 - Blah Thursday, Dec. 16, 2004 - Forgive Me Wednesday, Dec. 15, 2004 - A Drunken Night Tuesday, Dec. 14, 2004 - Social Security Monday, Dec. 13, 2004 - Day 1 w/o stepping on the scale :) Sunday, Dec. 12, 2004 - Worshiping the White Devil Bowl Saturday, Dec. 11, 2004 - Its Getting Harder Saturday, Dec. 11, 2004 - Stopping the Self from Destruction 2004-12-09 - Fear of Food, or Something Bigger? 2004-12-08 - Not so Perfect 2004-12-07 - One Purge, And I Got Back Up 2004-12-06 - Life isn't Perfect. (even when things are better) 2004-12-04 - Heart Awakenings 2004-12-03 - I Am Getting Better 2004-11-29 - I Am Well 2004-11-07 - Living to Die 2004-11-04 - Unreal 2004-10-28 - Back in the Hospital 2004-10-24 - A Slow Suicide: Uncontrollable 2004-10-22 - Returing to the Hospital 2004-10-16 - Going, going... 2004-10-08 - Don't Act 2004-10-08 - Out of Breath 2004-10-08 - Out of Breath 2004-10-05 - Spinning 2004-09-26 - Standing Destiny 2004-09-25 - Wishing for the Past 2004-09-24 - Pain 2004-09-18 - Petrified 2004-09-05 - The Truth... 2004-09-04 - A Feast of Famine 2004-08-27 - I Ate Today... Normally 2004-08-26 - Riding The Merry-Go-Round 2004-08-24 - Apathetic 2004-08-23 - To Forget What You Never Can 2004-08-22 - College Starts Tomorrow 2004-08-21 - Fighting to be Well 2004-08-20 - If It Is All Wrong... 2004-08-15 - Falling into Darkness 2004-08-13 - Fall or Fly 2004-08-12 - Living a Lie to Survive 2004-08-12 - Living a Lie to Survive 2004-08-07 - What Hell Did I Land In? 2004-08-03 - Fearful Of Fear 2004-07-24 - 19th Birthday Today 2004-06-27 - Struggles 2004-06-24 - The Worst of Days to Pass 2004-06-20 - Because I Can...Eat Pizza 2004-06-17 - Freedom 2004-06-17 - Freedom 2004-06-17 - Freedom 2004-06-10 - Better and Fear 2004-06-06 - Confusion in Dichotomy 2004-06-03 - Silently Falling Apart 2004-05-30 - Better for Them 2004-05-27 - Answer Me 2004-05-27 - Answer Me 2004-05-24 - Sanely Insane 2004-05-09 - Clipped Wings Will Grow 2004-05-06 - Underserving of Such Attention 2004-05-02 - Broken and Mended... 2004-05-01 - Update for Gwen 2004-04-25 - Sick and Fall 2004-04-23 - Wake Up Call 2004-04-23 - Beautiful? 2004-04-22 - All Too Far 2004-04-21 - Mother 2004-04-19 - Fear Residing All Around 2004-04-19 - Fear Residing All Around 2004-04-19 - Death Row 2004-04-17 - Veiled Hope 2004-04-14 - Secrets 2004-04-06 - Good-Bye Scale 2004-04-06 - My Proclivity 2004-04-05 - Acknowledgements. 2004-03-30 - It's Claire... 2004-03-23 - Jagged Breaths 2004-03-22 - Monotuous - Happy Nothing to Me - Almost Gone... 2004-03-10 - Hanging On 2004-03-06 - Its All Okay...Really 2004-03-05 - Falling Apart 2004-03-04 - Desparate for Salvation - The Terrible Hunger 2004-02-29 - Humiliation 2004-02-28 - Destructo 2004-02-26 - Urgent Care 2004-02-24 - Last Chance Treatment 2004-02-22 - Slip Up, Pick Up 2004-02-21 - Terrified 2004-02-14 - All My Heart 2004-02-13 - One Last Try, or Else I Die 2004-02-12 - Because We are Sick 2004-02-11 - A Safety 2004-02-08 - Diseased Mind 2004-02-08 - Broken Inside... 2004-02-07 - Beating Death 2004-02-06 - My Dear Jori :'( 2004-02-02 - Shallowly Breathing 2004-02-02 - Unfathomable 2004-01-31 - Repetition 2004-01-29 - A Deaf Ear 2004-01-28 - Trying Not to Fall 2004-01-25 - Lurking 2004-01-22 - Trying 2004-01-21 - Wanting 2004-01-20 - Silently Dying 2004-01-16 - All for Nothing 2004-01-15 - Captive 2004-01-14 - Worth Nothing 2004-01-13 - The Struggle 2004-01-12 - Hospital 2004-01-07 - Gluttony 2004-01-04 - Swallowing Blackness 2003-12-20 - Unquentiable Thirst, I Drink All 2003-12-13 - Silently Struggling, But Not 2003-12-09 - Update from Ali! 2003-11-25 - Falling Apart 2003-11-24 - Never Stop 2003-11-21 - Deadly Diabetes 2003-11-19 - Nothing Interesting 2003-11-15 - I Scare Myself... 2003-11-11 - About Mom 2003-11-09 - Broken Doors, A Safety Net Loss 2003-11-08 - Ghost 2003-11-05 - Vanity 2003-11-04 - Why I went to the Hospital 2003-11-03 - Hospital 2003-10-29 - Exterminate the Drain 2003-10-29 - Freedom Soon 2003-10-25 - Bloody Porcelain 2003-10-24 - I Am Sick 2003-10-22 - Sucking Away All Good 2003-10-18 - Dreams of Talking Vegetables 2003-10-17 - Interview with Rogers 2003-10-17 - Insured for Life 2003-10-16 - Hopeless Bloody Bile 2003-10-15 - Leaving Soon 2003-10-14 - Trying... 2003-10-13 - Hang On 2003-10-12 - Fading Hope 2003-10-09 - Tired 2003-10-06 - Crying Cuts 2003-10-05 - - 2003-10-05 - Silent Screams 2003-10-03 - Prey 2003-09-30 - Dragged Under 2003-09-28 - Dead and Dreaming 2003-09-27 - Sweep Me Away 2003-09-25 - A Call 2003-09-24 - A New Beginning 2003-09-24 - An Appeal for Death 2003-09-23 - Shadow of Evil, Kill Me Now 2003-09-22 - A Sick Obsession 2003-09-20 - Unescapable 2003-09-20 - As Visions of Binges Danced in her Head 2003-09-19 - Drainer Of Life 2003-09-16 - Perceverance into Darkness 2003-09-16 - Progress from Regression 2003-09-14 - Can I Get Some Pain With That Shit? 2003-09-14 - O Insulin, Why Do I Loathe Thee? 2003-09-12 - The Tales of a Diabetic ;) 2003-09-12 - Resolutions 2003-09-10 - All I Am 2003-09-09 - Unrecognized 2003-09-08 - Slut of Gluttony 2003-09-05 - Insulin Dreams 2003-09-04 - Broke Down 2003-09-04 - Lost Faith 2003-09-03 - Softly Killing Me 2003-09-01 - Tomorrow is Gone 2003-08-30 - Fallen 2003-08-29 - Back to Reality 2003-08-29 - I Wish... 2003-08-28 - Slip Up 2003-08-27 - Intoxicated 2003-08-26 - The Lies of Truth 2003-08-25 - Awake and Dead 2003-08-23 - To Be Or Not To Be 2003-08-21 - To T,to Die to Diet 2003-08-20 - Stuck - Hanging, not Hung 2003-08-18 - Sweet and Sour 2003-08-15 - White to Black 2003-07-29 - Dancing on a Lifeline 2003-07-28 - It is Me, Dimstar 2003-07-24 - Happy birthday! 2003-07-21 - - 2003-07-04 - A Poem I Wrote a While Ago 2003-06-22 - Update on BRIGHTEstar! 2003-06-15 - Victoria's update for Gwen. 2003-06-14 - Letters 2003-06-09 - Hospital Update 1 2003-05-25 - Going, Going, Gone.... 2003-05-21 - Acid Rain 2003-05-20 - Frigid 2003-05-18 - Despair 2003-05-16 - Who Cares? 2003-05-15 - Undeserving 2003-05-10 - Caught in the Act 2003-05-07 - Worshiping the Porcelain God 2003-05-06 - Nightmare Come True 2003-05-04 - Sorry, Was In Hospital 2003-04-21 - Emptiness - My Little Secrets 2003-04-08 - Falling Deeper 2003-04-04 - A Feeling Inconceivable - Sick of Sick 2003-03-30 - Thin Air 2003-03-26 - Near Death Experience 2003-03-24 - A Beautiful Thing In A Dire Time 2003-03-20 - Salvation Is The Key, O Will They Save Me? 2003-03-18 - A Failure In So Many Ways 2003-03-15 - Evil Hunger 2003-03-15 - Breaking the Plateau 2003-03-14 - Can I Say Enough? 2003-03-13 - An Endless Cycle Of Destruction 2003-03-12 - A Good Day - I Am Disgusting. Look At My Intake 2003-03-08 - Prolonged QT, Doesn't Stop the Binge 2003-03-07 - Sleep Binges 2003-03-04 - Fights, Cuts, Therapy, Hell... 2003-03-03 - Do You Know What You Are Doing To Yourself? 2003-03-02 - Trauma and Drama 2003-02-28 - Worst Weight Gain Ever 2003-02-27 - Bingeing Without Purging 2003-02-27 - Binge Another Day 2003-02-25 - Unproductive Day 2003-02-24 - One Step At A Time 2003-02-22 - Inpatient News, Self Harm, & Arguements 2003-02-21 - Another Day I wish I hadn't Awoken 2003-02-20 - Never Measure Up 2003-02-18 - Useless Dreams, I Was Once... 2003-02-17 - I Wasn't Going to Binge 2003-02-16 - Mouse Infestation 2003-02-15 - Bad EKG, Prediction of Future Hospitalization 2003-02-13 - Just Sad 2003-02-12 - An Eventfull Day 2003-02-12 - Senseless Really 2003-02-11 - Ramble 2003-02-09 - Worst Hospitalization Ever 2003-02-07 - endocrine unit 2003-02-06 - Last Entry Before I Go To Stanford. 2003-02-06 - Freaking Out At The Thought Of The Hospital 2003-02-05 - I Am All Evil 2003-02-04 - Binge Buddies! - And Life Is Nothing 2003-02-03 - Just Another Morning 2003-02-03 - Flashbacks 2003-02-02 - Purging Life Away - Nothing Makes Sense 2003-02-01 - Half Good Day 2003-01-31 - My Big Mouth 2003-01-31 - Misery Until Magic 2003-01-31 - Misery 2003-01-30 - Doctor's Appt. and Taking Laxatives 2003-01-30 - Food and Nightmares 2003-01-29 - Dear Ana Mia, You Suck! 2003-01-29 - Fucked Up 2003-01-29 - When The Only Way Out Is Up 2003-01-29 - I Thought It Was Impossible 2003-01-28 - Broken Innocence 2003-01-28 - Trying To Live 2003-01-28 - -Sharing the Not So Secret Secret 2003-01-28 - How Much I Ate Today 2003-01-27 - Food, The Destroyer 2003-01-26 - Repression Of Our True Selves 2003-01-26 - Shit and Puke 2003-01-25 - Don't Eat My Foods! 2003-01-25 - Laxatives 2003-01-24 - Puking Blood and Public Speaking 2003-01-23 - Busted! 2003-01-22 - The Royal Fuck Up Rambles 2003-01-22 - Inevitable 2003-01-21 - Only Eating to Puke 2003-01-20 - Prefered:Bulimic over Anorexic 2003-01-20 - What Went On 2003-01-18 - Gone In Hospital 2003-01-15 - Freaking Out 2003-01-15 - Emptying the Fridge 2003-01-14 - Should Have Taken That Shot...Maybe 2003-01-14 - A Pool of Tears 2003-01-14 - Seeing Tali, Releasing Me Into Hometown Buffet 2003-01-13 - Waking Up to Binge (yea it's Hell) 2003-01-13 - Sensitive Stomachs Beware 2003-01-12 - Should have been good, not when you think about food. - It wasn't supposed to be this way 2003-01-11 - Fighting It 2003-01-11 - Pathetic.. Just Pathetic... 2003-01-09 - Old Poem 2003-01-09 - My ice cream and the dog 2003-01-09 - Can life throw anymore bad things my way? 2003-01-08 - The Bad One 2003-01-08 - So Fat 2003-01-05 - Dying to Die 2003-01-04 - Trigger to Anorexics and Bulimics, beware 2003-01-04 - Nothing worth reading 2003-01-02 - You Eat Too Much! they say... 2003-01-01 - Dying of diabulimia 2002-12-08 - Bulimia Day 2002-12-07 - My Day 2002-12-03 - My thoughts on where my life is going 2002-12-01 - Fat pig destroyer
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