dimstar's Diaryland Diary

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Thursday, Aug. 23, 2007 - Thanks to my Diarylanders :)
Sunday, Jul. 15, 2007 - A Video You Should All See
Wednesday, Jun. 27, 2007 - Newspaper Article!
Monday, Jul. 10, 2006 - Keep Fighting
Monday, Jul. 10, 2006 - Keep Fighting
Saturday, May. 06, 2006 - Better
Saturday, Apr. 29, 2006 - Update
Saturday, Mar. 25, 2006 - -
Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2006 - On Fear
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006 - And they all came together and one fell out
Thursday, Feb. 09, 2006 - Clarification
Sunday, Feb. 05, 2006 - Arrrgh!
Sunday, Feb. 05, 2006 - I Suck
Saturday, Feb. 04, 2006 - Eating Disorders
Wednesday, Feb. 01, 2006 - Euphoric
Tuesday, Jan. 31, 2006 - Back together
Saturday, Jan. 28, 2006 - A Slip, But I'm Okay
Monday, Jan. 23, 2006 - Yes!
Sunday, Jan. 22, 2006 - I can do Well
Friday, Jan. 20, 2006 - Stinging Words
Thursday, Jan. 19, 2006 - I Don't Know What I Want
Wednesday, Jan. 18, 2006 - Pics of Course!
Wednesday, Jan. 18, 2006 - I Want...
Sunday, Jan. 15, 2006 - Me & Jewlz & Rambles
Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 - Difficult
Wednesday, Jan. 11, 2006 - Logic
Monday, Jan. 02, 2006 - Arrrgh!
Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005 - A New Car
Monday, Dec. 26, 2005 - Merry F'n Christmas
Friday, Dec. 16, 2005 - Happy :)
Wednesday, Dec. 14, 2005 - A Kick in the Face
Sunday, Dec. 11, 2005 - Done
Friday, Dec. 09, 2005 - So Good
Sunday, Oct. 30, 2005 - Grateful
Thursday, Oct. 27, 2005 - A quick Hi
Monday, Oct. 17, 2005 - Day Treatment ~ \"Halfway\" Home
Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2005 - ...In Treatment...
Monday, Sept. 12, 2005 - Visiting Hours
Monday, Sept. 05, 2005 - A Last Entry
Friday, Sept. 02, 2005 - I'm going to Rader
Friday, Sept. 02, 2005 - Confused
Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2005 - Treatment
Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005 - Binge, purge, drink, sleep
Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005 - Its Nothing but a Cycle
Monday, Aug. 29, 2005 - Rant
Sunday, Aug. 28, 2005 - Later...
Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005 - Terrified
Friday, Aug. 26, 2005 - Labs & Such +I'm Happy Today
Thursday, Aug. 25, 2005 - Nothing
Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2005 - Treatment and Such
Tuesday, Aug. 23, 2005 - I'm Still Here
Thursday, Aug. 18, 2005 - Go Away
Saturday, Aug. 13, 2005 - Sorry
Friday, Aug. 12, 2005 - You Wouldn't Believe
Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005 - Turning a New Leaf
Monday, Aug. 08, 2005 - Blank Slate
Friday, Aug. 05, 2005 - And It Was All Repetition
Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005 - I Don't know...
Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005 - Tired
Wednesday, Aug. 03, 2005 - Kid Pictures
Monday, Aug. 01, 2005 - Running Out Of Time
Sunday, Jul. 31, 2005 - Ghastly
Thursday, Jul. 28, 2005 - Sigh
Monday, Jul. 25, 2005 - Birthday
Sunday, Jul. 17, 2005 - Better
Saturday, Jul. 16, 2005 - Nothing...
Wednesday, Jul. 13, 2005 - Fuck Fuck Fuck
Tuesday, Jul. 12, 2005 - I shouldn't bother
Monday, Jul. 11, 2005 - Today's Goals
Saturday, Jul. 09, 2005 - A Battle
Saturday, Jul. 09, 2005 - Tired Rambles & Promises
Thursday, Jul. 07, 2005 - ...Sigh
Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2005 - Confused and Sad
Tuesday, Jul. 05, 2005 - Im A Fucking Loser
Monday, Jul. 04, 2005 - Am I Here?
Saturday, Jul. 02, 2005 - I feel shitty about doing well
Saturday, Jul. 02, 2005 - A Better Day
Friday, Jul. 01, 2005 - All The Same
Wednesday, Jun. 29, 2005 - I Tried...
Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2005 - Really Scared
Sunday, Jun. 26, 2005 - Normalcy Gone
Friday, Jun. 24, 2005 - Truth
Sunday, Jun. 19, 2005 - Dysfunctional
Thursday, Jun. 16, 2005 - I Just Can't
Thursday, Jun. 16, 2005 - I Did It :)
Wednesday, Jun. 15, 2005 - Nothing Much
Tuesday, Jun. 14, 2005 - Selfish Girl
Sunday, Jun. 12, 2005 - 28 Hours Binge Purge Free
Saturday, Jun. 11, 2005 - ER scare
Friday, Jun. 10, 2005 - Doing Better, Thoughts
Thursday, Jun. 09, 2005 - Why I am not Trying
Wednesday, Jun. 08, 2005 - Pointless
Tuesday, Jun. 07, 2005 - Im Here, Alive....
Wednesday, May. 25, 2005 - A Great Day
Wednesday, May. 25, 2005 - Fuck
Tuesday, May. 24, 2005 - Two More Days :) Can You Feel It?
Sunday, May. 22, 2005 - Crimson Fires
Saturday, May. 21, 2005 - Anger
Wednesday, May. 18, 2005 - Stop!!!!
Tuesday, May. 17, 2005 - Going...
Sunday, May. 15, 2005 - Planning
Thursday, May. 12, 2005 - Shooting Stars
Tuesday, May. 10, 2005 - Too Much
Tuesday, May. 10, 2005 - Too Much
Sunday, May. 08, 2005 - Update on Bailey
Sunday, May. 08, 2005 - Disasterous
Thursday, May. 05, 2005 - Hunger
Wednesday, May. 04, 2005 - Alone Again
Tuesday, May. 03, 2005 - Thump thump thump thump!!!!
Sunday, May. 01, 2005 - Better
Sunday, May. 01, 2005 - Why?
Friday, Apr. 29, 2005 - Something Worthless
Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2005 - A Failure
Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2005 - My Secret
Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005 - Debt Again
Monday, Apr. 25, 2005 - Summer!
Sunday, Apr. 24, 2005 - Every day, its all the same...
Friday, Apr. 22, 2005 - Dr. Appointment
Tuesday, Apr. 19, 2005 - Another Day in Purgatory
Sunday, Apr. 17, 2005 - Rambles
Friday, Apr. 15, 2005 - A much needed survey
Friday, Apr. 15, 2005 - Another Ordinary Day
Thursday, Apr. 14, 2005 - I Will Never Go Hungry Again
Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2005 - Determined
Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2005 - Unlocked so Soon
Monday, Apr. 11, 2005 - I Just Don't
Sunday, Apr. 10, 2005 - Falling
Friday, Apr. 08, 2005 - I Am Sorry to All of You
Friday, Apr. 08, 2005 - Its Over
Thursday, Apr. 07, 2005 - Strangeness
Wednesday, Apr. 06, 2005 - I Talked to Claire!
Tuesday, Apr. 05, 2005 - Normal Again
Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005 - Poison Cupcakes
Saturday, Apr. 02, 2005 - Walking in a Dream
Friday, Apr. 01, 2005 - Dreaming Nightmares
Friday, Apr. 01, 2005 - I Just Don't Want to Live
Wednesday, Mar. 30, 2005 - I Really Should Not Have....
Tuesday, Mar. 29, 2005 - I am on TV!!
Friday, Mar. 25, 2005 - Spring Break Continues!
Tuesday, Mar. 22, 2005 - Drink, Drank, Drunk
Tuesday, Mar. 22, 2005 - Drink, Drank, Drunk
Sunday, Mar. 20, 2005 - Evacuation
Thursday, Mar. 17, 2005 - A Stranger
Thursday, Mar. 17, 2005 - Exposed
Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2005 - -
Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2005 - Critical Thinking
Monday, Mar. 14, 2005 - A Better Outlook
Sunday, Mar. 13, 2005 - Breaking the Diet
Friday, Mar. 11, 2005 - Ethics and Such
Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005 - Sunshine & Swimming
Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005 - Nightmares and Reminiscing
Tuesday, Mar. 08, 2005 - Failing
Monday, Mar. 07, 2005 - Out of Darkness
Saturday, Mar. 05, 2005 - Not Yet Stabbed
Friday, Mar. 04, 2005 - Breaking
Thursday, Mar. 03, 2005 - Stupidness
Thursday, Mar. 03, 2005 - Constant Dreams
Wednesday, Mar. 02, 2005 - Treacherous Acts
Monday, Feb. 28, 2005 - Ru and the Scale + job & school
Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005 - Friday Scares
Friday, Feb. 25, 2005 - Bedtime Thoughts & Cambodia
Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2005 - Scattered Mind
Monday, Feb. 14, 2005 - Valentines
Monday, Jan. 31, 2005 - Never Turn Away
Wednesday, Jan. 26, 2005 - I'M Here...
Thursday, Jan. 13, 2005 - Fighting the Mind
Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005 - Getting Back On My 2 Feet
Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005 - Uh-Oh Oreos
Tuesday, Jan. 11, 2005 - I Give Up
Monday, Jan. 10, 2005 - Binge, Vomit, Omit Insulin... And for What?
Monday, Jan. 10, 2005 - Pictures!!!
Saturday, Jan. 08, 2005 - Slipping
Saturday, Jan. 08, 2005 - First Good Dr. Appointment
Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2005 - The Battle
Tuesday, Jan. 04, 2005 - I Will Not Last In This False Utopia
Thursday, Dec. 30, 2004 - Vacation= Relapse Temptation
Wednesday, Dec. 22, 2004 - It Will Be Okay...
Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2004 - Blue and Black Moods
Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2004 - Senseless
Sunday, Dec. 19, 2004 - Dark
Sunday, Dec. 19, 2004 - Deserved
Saturday, Dec. 18, 2004 - Hidden Faces
Friday, Dec. 17, 2004 - Blah
Thursday, Dec. 16, 2004 - Forgive Me
Wednesday, Dec. 15, 2004 - A Drunken Night
Tuesday, Dec. 14, 2004 - Social Security
Monday, Dec. 13, 2004 - Day 1 w/o stepping on the scale :)
Sunday, Dec. 12, 2004 - Worshiping the White Devil Bowl
Saturday, Dec. 11, 2004 - Its Getting Harder
Saturday, Dec. 11, 2004 - Stopping the Self from Destruction
2004-12-09 - Fear of Food, or Something Bigger?
2004-12-08 - Not so Perfect
2004-12-07 - One Purge, And I Got Back Up
2004-12-06 - Life isn't Perfect. (even when things are better)
2004-12-04 - Heart Awakenings
2004-12-03 - I Am Getting Better
2004-11-29 - I Am Well
2004-11-07 - Living to Die
2004-11-04 - Unreal
2004-10-28 - Back in the Hospital
2004-10-24 - A Slow Suicide: Uncontrollable
2004-10-22 - Returing to the Hospital
2004-10-16 - Going, going...
2004-10-08 - Don't Act
2004-10-08 - Out of Breath
2004-10-08 - Out of Breath
2004-10-05 - Spinning
2004-09-26 - Standing Destiny
2004-09-25 - Wishing for the Past
2004-09-24 - Pain
2004-09-18 - Petrified
2004-09-05 - The Truth...
2004-09-04 - A Feast of Famine
2004-08-27 - I Ate Today... Normally
2004-08-26 - Riding The Merry-Go-Round
2004-08-24 - Apathetic
2004-08-23 - To Forget What You Never Can
2004-08-22 - College Starts Tomorrow
2004-08-21 - Fighting to be Well
2004-08-20 - If It Is All Wrong...
2004-08-15 - Falling into Darkness
2004-08-13 - Fall or Fly
2004-08-12 - Living a Lie to Survive
2004-08-12 - Living a Lie to Survive
2004-08-07 - What Hell Did I Land In?
2004-08-03 - Fearful Of Fear
2004-07-24 - 19th Birthday Today
2004-06-27 - Struggles
2004-06-24 - The Worst of Days to Pass
2004-06-20 - Because I Can...Eat Pizza
2004-06-17 - Freedom
2004-06-17 - Freedom
2004-06-17 - Freedom
2004-06-10 - Better and Fear
2004-06-06 - Confusion in Dichotomy
2004-06-03 - Silently Falling Apart
2004-05-30 - Better for Them
2004-05-27 - Answer Me
2004-05-27 - Answer Me
2004-05-24 - Sanely Insane
2004-05-09 - Clipped Wings Will Grow
2004-05-06 - Underserving of Such Attention
2004-05-02 - Broken and Mended...
2004-05-01 - Update for Gwen
2004-04-25 - Sick and Fall
2004-04-23 - Wake Up Call
2004-04-23 - Beautiful?
2004-04-22 - All Too Far
2004-04-21 - Mother
2004-04-19 - Fear Residing All Around
2004-04-19 - Fear Residing All Around
2004-04-19 - Death Row
2004-04-17 - Veiled Hope
2004-04-14 - Secrets
2004-04-06 - Good-Bye Scale
2004-04-06 - My Proclivity
2004-04-05 - Acknowledgements.
2004-03-30 - It's Claire...
2004-03-23 - Jagged Breaths
2004-03-22 - Monotuous
- Happy Nothing to Me
- Almost Gone...
2004-03-10 - Hanging On
2004-03-06 - Its All Okay...Really
2004-03-05 - Falling Apart
2004-03-04 - Desparate for Salvation
- The Terrible Hunger
2004-02-29 - Humiliation
2004-02-28 - Destructo
2004-02-26 - Urgent Care
2004-02-24 - Last Chance Treatment
2004-02-22 - Slip Up, Pick Up
2004-02-21 - Terrified
2004-02-14 - All My Heart
2004-02-13 - One Last Try, or Else I Die
2004-02-12 - Because We are Sick
2004-02-11 - A Safety
2004-02-08 - Diseased Mind
2004-02-08 - Broken Inside...
2004-02-07 - Beating Death
2004-02-06 - My Dear Jori :'(
2004-02-02 - Shallowly Breathing
2004-02-02 - Unfathomable
2004-01-31 - Repetition
2004-01-29 - A Deaf Ear
2004-01-28 - Trying Not to Fall
2004-01-25 - Lurking
2004-01-22 - Trying
2004-01-21 - Wanting
2004-01-20 - Silently Dying
2004-01-16 - All for Nothing
2004-01-15 - Captive
2004-01-14 - Worth Nothing
2004-01-13 - The Struggle
2004-01-12 - Hospital
2004-01-07 - Gluttony
2004-01-04 - Swallowing Blackness
2003-12-20 - Unquentiable Thirst, I Drink All
2003-12-13 - Silently Struggling, But Not
2003-12-09 - Update from Ali!
2003-11-25 - Falling Apart
2003-11-24 - Never Stop
2003-11-21 - Deadly Diabetes
2003-11-19 - Nothing Interesting
2003-11-15 - I Scare Myself...
2003-11-11 - About Mom
2003-11-09 - Broken Doors, A Safety Net Loss
2003-11-08 - Ghost
2003-11-05 - Vanity
2003-11-04 - Why I went to the Hospital
2003-11-03 - Hospital
2003-10-29 - Exterminate the Drain
2003-10-29 - Freedom Soon
2003-10-25 - Bloody Porcelain
2003-10-24 - I Am Sick
2003-10-22 - Sucking Away All Good
2003-10-18 - Dreams of Talking Vegetables
2003-10-17 - Interview with Rogers
2003-10-17 - Insured for Life
2003-10-16 - Hopeless Bloody Bile
2003-10-15 - Leaving Soon
2003-10-14 - Trying...
2003-10-13 - Hang On
2003-10-12 - Fading Hope
2003-10-09 - Tired
2003-10-06 - Crying Cuts
2003-10-05 - -
2003-10-05 - Silent Screams
2003-10-03 - Prey
2003-09-30 - Dragged Under
2003-09-28 - Dead and Dreaming
2003-09-27 - Sweep Me Away
2003-09-25 - A Call
2003-09-24 - A New Beginning
2003-09-24 - An Appeal for Death
2003-09-23 - Shadow of Evil, Kill Me Now
2003-09-22 - A Sick Obsession
2003-09-20 - Unescapable
2003-09-20 - As Visions of Binges Danced in her Head
2003-09-19 - Drainer Of Life
2003-09-16 - Perceverance into Darkness
2003-09-16 - Progress from Regression
2003-09-14 - Can I Get Some Pain With That Shit?
2003-09-14 - O Insulin, Why Do I Loathe Thee?
2003-09-12 - The Tales of a Diabetic ;)
2003-09-12 - Resolutions
2003-09-10 - All I Am
2003-09-09 - Unrecognized
2003-09-08 - Slut of Gluttony
2003-09-05 - Insulin Dreams
2003-09-04 - Broke Down
2003-09-04 - Lost Faith
2003-09-03 - Softly Killing Me
2003-09-01 - Tomorrow is Gone
2003-08-30 - Fallen
2003-08-29 - Back to Reality
2003-08-29 - I Wish...
2003-08-28 - Slip Up
2003-08-27 - Intoxicated
2003-08-26 - The Lies of Truth
2003-08-25 - Awake and Dead
2003-08-23 - To Be Or Not To Be
2003-08-21 - To T,to Die to Diet
2003-08-20 - Stuck
- Hanging, not Hung
2003-08-18 - Sweet and Sour
2003-08-15 - White to Black
2003-07-29 - Dancing on a Lifeline
2003-07-28 - It is Me, Dimstar
2003-07-24 - Happy birthday!
2003-07-21 - -
2003-07-04 - A Poem I Wrote a While Ago
2003-06-22 - Update on BRIGHTEstar!
2003-06-15 - Victoria's update for Gwen.
2003-06-14 - Letters
2003-06-09 - Hospital Update 1
2003-05-25 - Going, Going, Gone....
2003-05-21 - Acid Rain
2003-05-20 - Frigid
2003-05-18 - Despair
2003-05-16 - Who Cares?
2003-05-15 - Undeserving
2003-05-10 - Caught in the Act
2003-05-07 - Worshiping the Porcelain God
2003-05-06 - Nightmare Come True
2003-05-04 - Sorry, Was In Hospital
2003-04-21 - Emptiness
- My Little Secrets
2003-04-08 - Falling Deeper
2003-04-04 - A Feeling Inconceivable
- Sick of Sick
2003-03-30 - Thin Air
2003-03-26 - Near Death Experience
2003-03-24 - A Beautiful Thing In A Dire Time
2003-03-20 - Salvation Is The Key, O Will They Save Me?
2003-03-18 - A Failure In So Many Ways
2003-03-15 - Evil Hunger
2003-03-15 - Breaking the Plateau
2003-03-14 - Can I Say Enough?
2003-03-13 - An Endless Cycle Of Destruction
2003-03-12 - A Good Day
- I Am Disgusting. Look At My Intake
2003-03-08 - Prolonged QT, Doesn't Stop the Binge
2003-03-07 - Sleep Binges
2003-03-04 - Fights, Cuts, Therapy, Hell...
2003-03-03 - Do You Know What You Are Doing To Yourself?
2003-03-02 - Trauma and Drama
2003-02-28 - Worst Weight Gain Ever
2003-02-27 - Bingeing Without Purging
2003-02-27 - Binge Another Day
2003-02-25 - Unproductive Day
2003-02-24 - One Step At A Time
2003-02-22 - Inpatient News, Self Harm, & Arguements
2003-02-21 - Another Day I wish I hadn't Awoken
2003-02-20 - Never Measure Up
2003-02-18 - Useless Dreams, I Was Once...
2003-02-17 - I Wasn't Going to Binge
2003-02-16 - Mouse Infestation
2003-02-15 - Bad EKG, Prediction of Future Hospitalization
2003-02-13 - Just Sad
2003-02-12 - An Eventfull Day
2003-02-12 - Senseless Really
2003-02-11 - Ramble
2003-02-09 - Worst Hospitalization Ever
2003-02-07 - endocrine unit
2003-02-06 - Last Entry Before I Go To Stanford.
2003-02-06 - Freaking Out At The Thought Of The Hospital
2003-02-05 - I Am All Evil
2003-02-04 - Binge Buddies!
- And Life Is Nothing
2003-02-03 - Just Another Morning
2003-02-03 - Flashbacks
2003-02-02 - Purging Life Away
- Nothing Makes Sense
2003-02-01 - Half Good Day
2003-01-31 - My Big Mouth
2003-01-31 - Misery Until Magic
2003-01-31 - Misery
2003-01-30 - Doctor's Appt. and Taking Laxatives
2003-01-30 - Food and Nightmares
2003-01-29 - Dear Ana Mia, You Suck!
2003-01-29 - Fucked Up
2003-01-29 - When The Only Way Out Is Up
2003-01-29 - I Thought It Was Impossible
2003-01-28 - Broken Innocence
2003-01-28 - Trying To Live
2003-01-28 - -Sharing the Not So Secret Secret
2003-01-28 - How Much I Ate Today
2003-01-27 - Food, The Destroyer
2003-01-26 - Repression Of Our True Selves
2003-01-26 - Shit and Puke
2003-01-25 - Don't Eat My Foods!
2003-01-25 - Laxatives
2003-01-24 - Puking Blood and Public Speaking
2003-01-23 - Busted!
2003-01-22 - The Royal Fuck Up Rambles
2003-01-22 - Inevitable
2003-01-21 - Only Eating to Puke
2003-01-20 - Prefered:Bulimic over Anorexic
2003-01-20 - What Went On
2003-01-18 - Gone In Hospital
2003-01-15 - Freaking Out
2003-01-15 - Emptying the Fridge
2003-01-14 - Should Have Taken That Shot...Maybe
2003-01-14 - A Pool of Tears
2003-01-14 - Seeing Tali, Releasing Me Into Hometown Buffet
2003-01-13 - Waking Up to Binge (yea it's Hell)
2003-01-13 - Sensitive Stomachs Beware
2003-01-12 - Should have been good, not when you think about food.
- It wasn't supposed to be this way
2003-01-11 - Fighting It
2003-01-11 - Pathetic.. Just Pathetic...
2003-01-09 - Old Poem
2003-01-09 - My ice cream and the dog
2003-01-09 - Can life throw anymore bad things my way?
2003-01-08 - The Bad One
2003-01-08 - So Fat
2003-01-05 - Dying to Die
2003-01-04 - Trigger to Anorexics and Bulimics, beware
2003-01-04 - Nothing worth reading
2003-01-02 - You Eat Too Much! they say...
2003-01-01 - Dying of diabulimia
2002-12-08 - Bulimia Day
2002-12-07 - My Day
2002-12-03 - My thoughts on where my life is going
2002-12-01 - Fat pig destroyer

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