But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.
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Normal Again
So yes, I am back on my Lexapro for two days now. I didn't transform into myself until later this afternoon, but when I did I walked out of Hell, locked the most tormenting of thoughts in an underground cave, and swollowed the key.
Or so it felt like...
I didn't fall asleep until past nine this morning, kept awake by shooting pains running up my right leg. Finally I decided that I needed some potassium around seven o' clock, and took the last of my pills, along with a yogurt. And by three pm I felt better. Weak, but well enough to function.
I was running late to class and I did probably one of the most daring things of my life; I asked a group of guys in an old car and baggy clothes in front of the liqour stoor in my girliest voice,
"Please, can you give me a ride to school? I am running so late!"
And they did. A bit off guard at the request, they cleared a space out for me in the back. "How do you know we aren't ax murderers?", one asked.
"Ax murderers don't usually travel in packs," I replied. They were very polite and I made it to class only two minutes late, saving myself from decapitation.
Later, Marissa, Jake, and I went to the mall. I got a new cell phone, and they went to purchace some stuff for the apartment at Spencer's. I was shocked at what happened. The guy behind the register said, "If you want some free stuff, bring it up."
Turns out he hated his manager. He gave them over $200 of free stuff all because he hated his manager. I said, "Lets go, now!" Of course, they didn't listen. So I went and sat outside. Then the manager walked out of the back and began to talk to them. Jake smooth talked to the lady, and she never questioned it, assuming that he did buy it...
I could not believe it. Then Jake took me and Marissa out to a fancy restaurant, where Marissa accidentally spilled a cup of ice water all over me.
All in all it was a great day, and I was glad to be feeling better, out of my misery, back to normal...
I hate when I am someone else...
I hate that I cannot be me without something that I cannot understand.
1:54 AM - Tuesday, Apr. 05, 2005
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dying - living
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