But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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Today's Goals

I've finally beaten the "suddenly coming off of antidepressants crash." It was hell, to say the least. And today I am making myself a set of goals.
1) To keep my meter from reading "HI" (which it has been doing constantly.)
2) To not step on the scale every time I walk into the bathroom. (This has been a major part of my bingeing and purging as well as skipping insulin cycle.)
3)Before walking into the kitchen for meals, to write down what I am to eat and to follow through with this.
4)If I feel the insane urge to binge I will eat carrots and sugar free popsicles or sugar free jello first.
5)To go out and get some sun. I've been sleeping all day and staying up half the night. To stop this!!!
6) To go swimming. Our pool is clean and sparkling.
7) To change my sheets and hang up all the clothes lying around my room. (Clutter makes me want to binge and purge, as well as procrastination.)
8)To eat at least 400 calories that I keep down, not to exceed 750, as even this number makes me want to binge and purge.
9)To go back to bed for a bit, as I got three hours of sleep before I started bingeing and purging everything that looked slightly edible.
10) To paint my nails and take a shower.
11)To do laundry.
12)To read a book that won't bore me into thinking about food more than I already am.
13)If nothing else, to not binge and purge, even if I don't accomplish everything on this list.

8:20 AM - Monday, Jul. 11, 2005
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dying - living