But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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Unlocked so Soon

Just forget it... I cannot send out that many password requests, I cannot lock my life away when it has been an open book for so long.
Some people may read who I do not want to. Some may judge and hate. Others may fall because of me...
But really, it would be more selfish of me to lock those out suddenly who had been reading for so long. And I cannot do that. I must accept the consequences of my actions.
I am still exhausted and tired. My weight... It has dropped quicker than ever before. Just yesterday I was fifteen pounds more, or so it seems... Perhaphs it was a week ago, or even two.
I took my Lantus last night, though not all of it. And I cried at Mar and Marissa's house. Because they said that sometimes I seem a bit rough around the edges with my facial expressions, and I don't mean to be. I never mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I just don't speak when I don't know what to say. I am more shy than average, which comes off as rude...
Something is wrong with my mom. Ever since she got surgery her spine has been leaking. They think she might have Meningitis, or last I heard. My brother won't really speak to me, so I can't be caught up to date. She has to be watched around the clock though.
I dreamt that I was with the circus. And everyone was mad at me. Really, it was no different than being awake.

3:58 PM - Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2005
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dying - living