But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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Day 1 w/o stepping on the scale :)

I am back on track. I am doing well today.
I woke up a little after 4:00am feeling very weak and shaky. My heart was pounding and it took effort to lift my head. I checked my blood sugar. It had dropped to 39 during the course of a few hours, from 303. I quickly ate the last bit of Skittles in my backpack reserved for low sugars, and then moved on to a package of snack crackers, a yogurt, and tortilla. I decided to have breakfast and go back to bed. It wouldn't be until past three in the afternoon that I would awake again.
I managed not to step on the scale today. I decided it wasn't worth it. My hands and face were already extremely puffy, and my skin hurt from all the water retention. Why depress myself further?
And I got a letter. I am eligible for all financial aid. A Pell Grant, Fee Waiver from the school, work study... Everything. I guess my extreme medical bills did work in my favor in an odd way...
I will get better. There are ups and downs, but I will make it. I am considering not going home for the holidays though. I don't know if that will be too cruel, or throw me into a relapse...
I know it would break my mother's heart though, so I suppose I will have to do it.

6:44 PM - Monday, Dec. 13, 2004
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dying - living