But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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I Am Getting Better

It feels like a miracle. I am actually doing well. I am eating between 1,500 and 2,000 calories a day, I am taking my insulin, and I am not purging. I am getting all of the major food groups in.
I am determined to get better. I keep looking back on what illness has brought me, and all my memories seem shaded by darkness. No matter how thin I got I was never happy. Because thinness does not equal happinness. Instead I was tired, depressed, hungry, sick... In no way was I productive. The times I was happiest was when I was taking care of myself..
And even now I can say that I am happier. I have nothing huge to be happy about, except that I am doing well. And I am at a normal weight. And I am happy.
My life right now is all about studying, and seeing friends a few nights a week. I enjoy it. And I know that as long as I stay healthy it can only get better.

12:11 p.m. - 2004-12-03
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dying - living