But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tales of a Diabetic ;) I usually don't add entries when I am in a good mood, so I figured that on the rare occasion that I am in a good mood I would enter one. First off, no purging thus far into the day! I am so thrilled. I also have about a million tests to grade, 80 pages of English to do, and study for an Econ test, so hopefully that will keep me from bingeing and purging. My mom brought home 1/4 of a cake from the party she let her students have and it is very tempting, but I am trying to avoid it. It is so odd how much I want to just eat, but never want to feel full. Damn bulimia. Today I have taken my insulin. I was feeling quite nauseated from skipping it. I know I am in trouble when I am throwing, "Christmas Colors" or rather, when the keto-stix turn red and green from ketones. It is hard to believe that I used to never mind taking 17 injections a day, that I prided myself on an HbA1c of 6.8-7.5. Now I cannot imagine a number below 10. Even that would make me jump for joy. Diabetics are a rebelious breed. Every diabetic I know does something shocking or out of the ordinaire. It seems so stereotypical, but it is true. We seem to be less afraid of things. Perhaphs it is because we were all told at a young age we were going to have to stick ourselves with needles or die, and probably die earlier than most of our peers. We were told horrible stories of amputees, people who went blind, had organ failure, went into comas...etc... Then there were also the videos that showed the diabetic couples. Each video that had a couple showed them as both having diabetes. We were segregated, made different. And you expected us not to rebel ;) My favorite memory was when I had a sleepover in fifth grade. I stuck about twenty shot needls in my legs, smeared blood on my face, walked into the living room where six of my friends were watching Halloween, and said, "I am pain," in an eerie voice. Needles to say, two of them went home crying, and one didn't speak to me for a whole year, thinking that I was the devil. Okay, I better quit procrastinating and start studying. Have a lovely weekend! xoxo Dim 3:52 p.m. - 2003-09-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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