But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Evil Hunger Hunger naws at my stomach. So many good foods, all are forbidden. I lost another half pound today. I am now 93. I couldn't pull myself out of bed until 5:00pm. An invisible weight sat on top of me, making it impossible to move. I am scared of what I will become. Food is calling my name. "Just eat. Just binge. You know you will. Why not do it now? Better than sleepwalking and bingeing..." I want to cry. I could rip all my hair out. Why do I do this to myself? Why is my body my private playground for torture? I cannot handle this anymore. I cannot think straight. All I can think about is food. I am so hungry I could eat everything. I want everything, yet I want nothing. That is it. I have to binge. I can't quit. I must. Goodbye... Arrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh! 9:29 p.m. - 2003-03-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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