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But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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I Wasn't Going to Binge

I said that today I wouldn't binge. I would take my insulin and I wouldn't binge. I was doing so well...

My mom and I were in the kitchen. My brother and his friends had once again taken over the living room. My brother is asking if his friends can spend the night. They spend the night every night. My mom says no. He starts yelling about how he needs to be around people or he gets depressed. All I could think of was how manipulative that statement was. My mom absolutely can't stand to hear the word "depressed" and I knew my brother would say anything to get his way. I shouldn't have butted in, but I did. I said, "Alex, we are people too! And you just had your friends spend the night for the past three nights!" He then said, "Why don't you ever have people over?" in a mean voice. I instinctively grabbed two pieces of date bread. We argued, and the whole time I kept eating. By the time it was over he had ripped my heart to shreds, called me a bitch countless times, and I had finished 20 Oreos, 15 Tootsie Rolls, two pieces of date bread, a piece of chicken, a bag of candy corn, two glasses of milk, and about ten fudgecicles. Now he is gone... I wasn't going to binge. I did. The damage is done. Fuck me.

1:30 a.m. - 2003-02-17
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