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But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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Half Good Day

I found out that my brother wasn't really crying about the whole eating disorder comment. He and E just made it up as an excuse to storm out of the house for a few hours and see some girls. While I was at home going over all the possibilities of why that made him so upset, what a freak I was, and how to apologize, my brother was off doing God knows what to some girl. He had to of his friends spend the night last night. E and B. I went to bed early for me, around 11:30, because my chest hurt along with my stomach. Than around 2:30 I woke up because my chest felt like someone was crushing it and I could barely breathe. I got up and walked out to the living room. There was B, watching Scary Movie. I decided to join him, and we ended up talking about alot of things. He is very smart. I have never known a 15 year old boy to stay up all night trying to figure out a scientific problem dealing with atoms to better our earth, but he did. He also told me that my brother talks alot about me, and that he gets away with alot too. It is easy to see that most of my brother's friends don't like his attitude. B agreed with me that he is mean to girls, and he even mentioned it to my mom. So it isn't just me? It was a good night. We watched Emilie until about 5:00am, then went to bed. Most of the time I would freak out if there was a boy in the living room at night without my brother, but B is really respectful and cool. He is more like a brother to me than anything. I actually didn't binge yesterday, for the first time in three months. Wow. I ate 1,800 calories, and I didn't throw up. My mom said this morning, "Dim, I think you had a heart attack! I looked it up and it really sounds like it!" Yea mom, go figure. Find the worst possible thing and think it happened to me. Whatever. Its a good thing I didn't tell her about last night. I guess that is about all. Once again, I am home alone with the junk food, but I don't really feel like bingeing. Lets see, can I possibly go two days without a binge? Take care everyone. *Dimstar

10:26 a.m. - 2003-02-01
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