But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Should Have Taken That Shot...Maybe Hey, I don't know what to say but that I really fucked up royally today. I feel so sick right now, like DKA sick. I didn't take an injection all day, jut straight binged. I didn't even purge. I am in the "Who the hell cares?" mode. I just hope that I die, but I hope if I do it isn't painful. Would God consider this suicide? I remember last time I was in DKA extremely bad how painful it was. I can't even begin to describe. I hope it isn't that way again. My vision is so blurry and I keep on getting tunnel vision. My stomach hurts so bad, I just wish taht I would throw up. I am too lazy to march my fat ass outside and make myself do it. My mom thinks I am extremely depressed. No, I'm happy, can't you see?! Yea, right. She is afraid that I am very sick; she has no idea. If I am okay tomorrow I will go to school. Then again, who the hell cares? I was looking at colleges and tuitions online, and I am so scared. I am such a loser. I have absolutely no life skills. I am worthless. If anyone knew just what a terrible wasteful person I am they would hate me. I deserve to die. I am such a selfish bitch. Okay, enough... I am not going to depress anyone else with my miserable life. My original intention was to write an entry saying that if I don't update in a while it is because my mom dragged me into the hospital. God knows if they do my labs I will be admitted. Until next time, take care. You are all lovely people who deserve to have a good life. Thank you! 9:38 p.m. - 2003-01-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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