But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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A quick Hi

I'm back inpatient. Locked up. A short amount of freedom so quickly snatched out from under my feet. I only spent five days in the partial program, coming in from 9:00am to 5:00pm. I've been back inpatient for eleven days.
I hate it. I am trapped. And I did nothing which should have put me back inpatient for two weeks.
I skipped my insulin one day. I got back on track the next day. One day after dealing with another patient cutting, another purging, another almost dying by slashing her wrists, and another almost jumping out a car window. I kept it to myself until process group. I tried to keep things together.
They said I did. That I took care of them, of things....
I do feel better though. So much more alive. Its so difficult to remember how ill you once were when you are breathing in life and not inhaling death every second.
I'm sorry to everyone I haven't written. We have absolutely no free time. As you can see, its 5:02 am and I just got chastized for being on the computer this early.... (Basically, you can't win in here) But I am better and I intend on beating my eating disorder this time.
All my love, Gwen

4:55 AM - Thursday, Oct. 27, 2005
4 comments

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dying - living