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But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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...In Treatment...

Hello Again ~ Gwen Friends ~

It's Lisa, updating on Goddess Gwen... she is still in treatment, and hanging in there. The edema has lessened, but because of all the destruction she has done to her body, she is on a high calorie diet (to repair cellular damage) which freaks her out (understandably). And apparently the food there sucks, which makes it all the harder... she also has had bronchitis for the past several days and is smoking cigarettes daily despite it... and she is worried still about her weight - which is just crushing to me.

I get the fear of weight gain, I get the over-analysis of every single little centimeter of the body, I get the stupid assumption that your worth as a human being is somehow based on your weight... but I don't understand how after nearly ten years of severe eating disorders, weighing every weight along the way, being close to death way too many f'ing times, and being an otherwise intelligent young person... Gwen can still convince herself that it's the damn weight that matters, that it's the damn weight that makes you happy (or not), that it's the damn weight that does ANYTHING meaningful AT ALL...

It is baffling, tragic and utterly maddening.

My heart hurts for her and I don't know how to save her. She MUST decide she is worth the very difficult fight that is required to recover. May Gwen and all of you turn your lives around and start to love, respect and take good care of your "earth suits" (bodies) NOW and not give in to self-destruction for another minute!!! All my hope, Lisa

P.S. If anyone wants to "snail mail" her for the next couple weeks, she would love it (she doesn't get much mail) the address is:

Gwen Malnassy
Pacific Shores Hospital
2130 N. Ventura Road
Oxnard, CA 93036

1:48 AM - Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2005
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