But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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Hidden Faces

I think it was Joseph who took the money. He is always stealing things from Baley's purse, anything from cigarettes to cash...
I was supposed to go to my aunt's today and help out around the house. I woke up coughing, stuffy, and with a sore throat, at a time too late to accomplish anything. And I didn't want to accomplish anything. I don't have enough money to get a train ticket home, or to buy the last few Christmas gifts that are necessary. I just want to lie in bed, let day turn to night, let darkness turn to light, and let all of the weeks blend into one, until it is time to start the next semester, and the holidays are over.
My sociology teacher called me today. There was a name confusion, so he thought I wasn't in his class. Once I got it straightened out he told me I bombed the final, and I will probably pass... but with a D. Because I didn't finish it on time. Because I am slow, stupid, and going nowhere with my life.
I am so cold right now. It feels like frost is biting through my flesh. But I am sweating. And I have to go out into the cold soon. Wrap up, put on a sweater, jacket, scarf, boots, gloves... Put on eyeliner, light eyeshadow, pull back your hair, lipgloss, a touch of mascara... You must hide who you really are. Mask yourself. Your mask is one of confidence. If only they saw the real you. They would throw stones, taunt you mercilessly, openly be your enemies.
So never show them who you are. Never let down your gaurd. Stay in shape. Stay young, stay beautiful. Stay intelligent. Keep your enemies close, but always watch your friends. Because at any second, they could turn on you, and if they are your friend, you want them right by your side.

4:37 PM - Saturday, Dec. 18, 2004
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dying - living