But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Worst of Days to Pass I get to stay here :) I don't have to transfer to another hospital. And about that I am happy. I can continue to make progress. Today I went to Burger King and Mrs.Field's. Then I had a horrible pass with my mother, but I still didn't do anything to harm myself. I am not going to lie. I am not in a good mood. Not today. But I know that I can pull through. Each day has its challenges, some days it is worse than others. But I will make it. I just can't go back to that hell. That hell where I am identified by my eating disorder, or by a girl who had something happen to her... And I will do anything to never return there. I just wish I felt that way today. Today I feel like crawling in a hole and suffocating under the mounds of dirt. To be buried alive in darkness. I am nauseous. Many of my friends are truly dying. And for some reason I am surviving them, when they are dying from horrible illnesses. And I did it all to myself. Do I deserve to be here, or in the cold rain, lying in a gutter, dying? Tell me... Forgive me, it has not been the best of days. 9:43 p.m. - 2004-06-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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