But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Death Row Thirstily, I drank the seven sodas in the fridge last night. The night was horrible, filled with trips to the bathroom, fridge, nightmares, awful leg cramps and shooting pains through my muscles. This morning my mom told me I was the most inconsiderate and selfish person she had ever met because I drank all of the sodas. She went on and on about how rude and mean I was until tears sprung to my eyes. "Stop it!" She says. "Fuck you!" I say, suddenly angry. I realize that they never truly missed me. That when I am gone they act as if I never existed. Ham and Beef have replaced the chicken and fish in the fridge and freezer. There were none of my sodas. Only a few cases for my brother, and some ones of my moms. "Fuck you, you don't pay rent." My brother says this from the next room. Only five more days that I will be here. Then I will be gone. I want to slice up my arm, let the blood run on the fresh white carpet, but instead I decide to sleep. A drain on the world, I have nowhere to go where I wouldn't feel guilty. In two weeks I built up my self-esteem, and in two minutes it was shattered, like a hand blown glass smashed in the sink. Back to reality, I realize that I am truly nothing, that I will never be anything to them, that the smallest offense warrents the rage of words... I must walk on eggshells. I must never return here once I leave. I live on death row. 2:51 a.m. - 2004-04-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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