But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Last Chance Treatment Only a few minutes until they wake up. Night has just lifted, and an eerie gray filters acrss the sky, washing away darkness. Darkness. So comfortable. It hides the light. Light that gives way to sight, to truth. Another sleepless night. I slept a bit, and dreamed that I saved an old man with music from dying in the street for another two weeks. I also saved a girl who was living in an attic of an old house with rats. I tried to give her clothes, but she liked none of them. I would give her beautiful garmets, that would instantly turn to rags once I handed them to her. And she was skeletal... And I awoke again and again, to drink fluids. My mouth, dryer than the driest of all desert sands, begging for fluids to sustain life. And I guzzle liters of fizzy water, diet soda, water, and anything I can get my hands on. To flush out all the carbs that I have eaten. To save some bit of fire in me, to keep the sparks of life a small flame. I am probably going to UCLA. I cannot stand this anymore. My insurance told my mother to call them to check their bed status and for an interview. Because food has become my torment. All around my room there are candy wrappers shoved, old TV dinner boxes, cookie wrappers, soda bottles. It is insane. It is sick. And it is making me so physically sick. Too physically sick to do anything but eat, sleep, and use the rest of my energy to try not to do the former as much as I do. So we will see. Hopefully I can get in and make it work this time... Probably my last chance. My mom is taking me to pick out my coffin... maybe. She said that yesterday... 5:49 a.m. - 2004-02-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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