But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Swallowing Blackness First off, it is only fair that I opologize for my absence, and the long spaces between my entries. My computer had completely crashed, but it is up again. I hope that everyone's holidays went well, and that nothing was too stressful. I thank you all for your wonderful notes and g-book entries. I spent an extra week at my aunt's house after my mom and brother left. I must say, it was quite nice to get a break from hearing the constant complaints about money and how much of a burden I am 24/7. My aunt says my mom has always been like that, but I am the overly sensitive one. I took better care of myself while there, and weight didn't seem to matter as much. I cried the whole way home. It was like a return to hell. My mom and brother fought over idiocricies while I silently weeped in the backseat. I need to get out of this town. I need to get out of this house. Yet the longer I stay the sicker I get to escape mentally, and it keeps me here physically. So I am stuck. Caught in a Catch 22. Old wounds are ripped open again, and I become tired. Let them fester, spread infection, an infection of hate, despair, fear... Only poison to the soul, yet deadly. This is this house. A dysfunctional family in a sinister town, that holds so many dark secrets... Black secrets... The blackness that kills. 4:28 p.m. - 2004-01-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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