But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Progress from Regression Due to overwhelming requests and a very upset stomach, I am going to the doctor tomorrow ;) Ironically, the thing I am most embarassed about is the fact that the last weight they have on me is before I went into treatment, so it is forty pounds lighter. Today has been fairly good. It started out a bit boring, then a bit agitating. My mom never quits complaining. Cindy almost called up her dad and left because of the tension in our house. It makes me so sad to realize just how much anger there is in our house. Right now there are three of us here. We are having a sleepover. Earlier we walked across town to buy cigarettes, then bummed a ride off of someone. We asked the guy to drop us off in front of a small store, and just then a cop pulled around. Imagine, three teenage girls jumping out of a guys' car. Looks good huh? I told him we were looking for my dog, which we were, because I accidentally left the side gate open. He is a pit rot and has been maced by the police before. It didn't even phase him. He always comes home by dawn though. We didn't get the main coone. It was already adopted by the animal shelter. My mom yelled at me about this for five minutes, until I pointed out that I did everything she asked about calling the shelter. I binged, but I didn't purge. I feel so guilty. The feeling to buy laxatives is becoming stronger every day, but I fear a heart attack. Plus, with what my bowels are doing, I would be afraid to take anything. I am three days purge free. I took my insulin. Cindy called Center for Discovery and one of the staff asked me to check my sugars, so I did. The result? "HI" I took twenty units of Novalog. I am going to gain so much weight. Twenty units, a binge, purge free for four days. Let us see how long I can keep this up... Wish me luck! xoxo Dim 2:55 a.m. - 2003-09-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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