Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

"

But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow is Gone

I slowly flip through all the photo albums, looking at each page that features the same girl. She smiles, her eyes sparkle, and she seems full of life. Not a hair out of place, not a piece of faded clothing on her, and she is thin. She is thin and in each picture she smiles, giving off more life than the stars could possibly hold in the night.

Look closer. Do not be fooled.

So I look into her eyes. There is a pleading inside them, something begging to be let out. A sadness so deep it could be mistaken for content. She is trying to break free of the photo, an image that captures nothing of herself, but of who she wishes to be.

The girl is me, or rather, what I used to be, or what I wish I was, and what I never was. I hate her. Under my breath I his evil words to her, wishing her the plague. So beautiful, so thin, so loved and cherished by all around her. She is all of it, and she is none of it. To them she is all those things, but in reality she is none of them.

I say I will start tomorrow. I keep eating, and because I am eating I sleep, and because I sleep I gain weight. I am slovenly. Tomorrow I will not binge, tomorrow I will socialize, tomorrow I will sleep during the night, tomorrow I will do my hair and make-up.... Tomorrow.

Tomorrow has never come, and it never shall. Tomorrow is the doom of death. Where today meets its end. Where there are more todays.

Tomorrow, a rebirth, and a death.

11:37 p.m. - 2003-09-01
0 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dying - living

---------------------------------------

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

Pics

Diabetes & Eating Disorder: Deadly

Kid & Family Pics

Lisa's Site On Eating Disorders

DiaryLand

contact

My Space

random entry

other diaries:

anadoll
cancerblog
just-fine
Enurta
the-thinline
me-destruitt
dissolving
sharpsecret
slightscream
wolfstone
ellemalen
miedema2002
mirrors-lie
freaknuraw
valepuella
susieq22
homerismygod
of-fools
amazinfuckup
cuttingwords
inaptbeauty
writergrrl88
anainsight
sorrowshadow
comfortm
suzza
genuine-risk
destinymaker
tfrunner262
squellot
numb-thepain
mookers
onecutabove
purgingme
xpasdechat
speedofpain
eventhewind
wanting-kind
hellraising
emsgirl13
mylostdream
luxelady
tenebrosity
scarchild
gerg69
emaciana
ethereal-red
infinityfye
somewhat-ok
tenebrosity
crazy4muffin
lostunicorn
onyx-cherub
vomit-stars
whitekachina
pinkcrayon-
rockstarsox
poolagirl
paricouture
anexperiment
simplyrayne
mirroreyes
scotvalkyrie
lead-balloon
rooster24
celticshadow
sylviashadow
bohun
sketty
clotis
prosperpine
silver80
ana-anna
diabetic-ed