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But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast.

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Do You Know What You Are Doing To Yourself?

"Hi, this is Laurie Blank from Stanford endocrine calling, I was wondering how Gwen is doing." That was the most eventful part of my day. I found out that cardiology reviewed my last EKG and it was decided that because of my arrythmias I now need weekly EKG's. They believe it is because of the rapid fluctuations in my electrolytes and are very concerned. "Gwen, you run a very high risk of passing out, losing your train of thought, falling down, having a heart attack, or possibly dying." "I know, I am having a very hard time. That is why I decided to go back into treatment." "What can I do to help? Do you want me to e-mail you, call you a few times a week, what? We want you to be healthy."

I have said it before and I will say it again. Endocrine is the nicest service I have. Cardiology doesn't do anything, and adolescent medicine just tells me I am a hopeless chronic. Thank God, in a distorted way, that I developed diabetes.

I got a call from Tali tonight. She was shopping for groceries and asking me what came up the easiest and what to buy. I am such a bitch. I answered her the best I could. Why do I always make people sicker?

Binge, binge, binge... the story of my life. I can barely pull myself up if I don't. Odd thing, I need to binge for energy, despite the fact that it makes me even more sick. Laurie acknowledged that I am having trouble breathing because of the effect the mass binges have on my blood sugar. Just great... I am just rambleing. I have nothing to say.

Take care everyone.

xoxo Gwen

11:19 p.m. - 2003-03-03
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