But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Misery Until Magic This is my third attempt at adding an entry. I am not going to go into the details I did the last two times. I feel like shit. Something went terribly wrong with the laxatives. No, I didn't just get diahhrea and stomach cramps. I got that plus the dry heaves, blurred vision, shakiness, cold sweats, and my heart beating out of my chest. Every time I woke up last night it was a struggle to get up. When I made it to the bathroom I would sit on the toilet while everything ran out of me and dry heave over the trash can. My heart was going so fast I couldn't even feel a pulse. It was so rapid and weak. I could barely breathe whenever I stood up. It seemed like invisible bands were snapping around my chest. 10:00am was the worst. I couldn't seem to stop sweating. My chest hurt worse than I thought possible. I lay there, barely able to breathe, sweat running down my forehead. "What in the hell went wrong?" I thought. All I can think of is the combination of Celexa, Zofram, Topamax, and Dulcolax was a very bad idea. Finally, at 1:00pm my mom came home for lunch. She asked me to clean the living room. I answered, "Mom, I am really sick. I was shaking and sweating, and I had diahhrea." She said, "We need to get you something for that." Then she went back to work. I got up and weighed myself. 96 pounds. A magic number. Quite a few pounds below 100.Yes.I would do it again, do it until I dissapear. My stomach is hollow. I trace my ribs with my fingers. I can see them in the mirror, every one. I now feel much better, besides my heart racing. Maybe it will fly away and leave my body peacefully behind... No, I don't get that sort of luck. Take care everyone. Tip of the day: Don't take laxatives, but if you do, take them alone! *Dimstar 2:26 p.m. - 2003-01-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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