But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monotuous Somehow I got an A on my midterm. Only God knows how. I did it in less then three hours on "The Apology of Socrates." Most people spent two weeks on it. I feel like a fraud. The heat. The sun is like a blazing fire in the sky omitting a blinding light. It is already hitting 90 degrees in the shade, yet my mom refuses to turn on the cooler. She says it will get cold again. It won't. So I lie in bed all day, sweating like a pig, feet and hands swelling up, praying for some cool air, drifting in and out of conciousness. I also have the hottest room in the house, which doesn't help. It makes me tired. It makes me weak. I just want to cry for no reason when it is this hot. I don't want to eat, I am not hungry. But I do. I continue to eat. And cook. Even though the temperature of the oven makes me more hot. And I am so incredibly thirsty. My tongue is white, frothy with foam from dehydration. It doesn't matter how much I drink, I thirst for more. I am never satisfied. My body is selfish. Run to the toilet, to the kitchen for another drink, back to bed, wake up, run to the toilet... I haven't checked my sugars in four days. What is the use anyhow? 7:44 p.m. - 2004-03-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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