But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ghost I glimpsed back, and I saw her. I swooped back around, and she was gone. Was I hallucinating. An eerie feeling filled the house. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. I decided to mention it to no one. Everyone thinks I am insane as it is.
Today, Jori saw her too. She froze, and told me to look in the hall. So I am not crazy. I didn't see her this time, but we know she is there. That she exists. The beads on the door still rattled, as if she was saying, "Yes, I was here, and I am still here, even when you cannot see me." Is she a ghost? An apparition? A figment of both of our imaginations? This house has always felt haunted to me. My room feels the most haunted of all. Most of my friends refuse to sleep in there, claiming it feels like death. I cannot disagree. The strange part is, we saw the same thing. She wears her hair in a brown bun, and her clothing style is that of the 1800s. She wears a shawl around her shoulders, dressed in a brown dress. She makes no noise, and we only catch glimpses of her. The dogs growl and whimper when we sense her presence. Are we delusional? Perhaphs. ************************** Last night I went to the ER. I was extremely dizzy, my speech slurred, and I was itchy all over. My heart began to race and tears streamed down my face for no reason. It was so scary. I had never felt so strange without knowing why before. I got there and it was nothing serious, thankfully. I only had a medication reaction to Tylenol 3. I have been bingeing quite a bit lately. I can't stand myself. Each injection is a battle. Will I take it? Will I skip it? Can I risk weight gain? Can I risk death? I hate this. I cannot go on like this. I cannot imagine life with this, and yet I cannot imagine life free from this torment. 1:30 a.m. - 2003-11-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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