But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A New Beginning I am feeling much better. I took a lot of insulin. Suddenly I had more energy, imagine that. I give up on trying to lose weight. It isn't worth it. My body gets too tired now. My body no longer has the resiliance to withstand all my weight loss techniques. I am going to eat when I am hungry and try to use my meal plan as a guideline. I stopped myself mid-binge today. I am so proud. This is a major accomplishment for me. Usually once I start I cannot quit. I was halfway through a pb and honey sandwich when I said to myself, "No Gwen, you are only hurting yourself. You don't really want this." I was actually able to put it down the garbage disposal. Maybe this is a new beginning. Please God, let it be my new beginning. I have also decided to quit taking my Lipitor until I go to see my cardiologist again. I think it is making me tired and dizzy. I think it is also what is making me tachycardic. My new goals are (Inspired by someday-) No bingeing No purging No skipping insulin No commiting to insane and unhealthy diets. I see my star. I wish on it. I grovel over it. My one hope, my bright light in the sky. Please, let me get better. I so want to be happy. 11:41 p.m. - 2003-09-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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