But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Going, Going, Gone.... Tuesday. It is final. Tuesday is the day that I leave home, fly the coop, begin the road to recovery. Tuesday I quit puking, take my insulin, and eat. Beginning Tuesday I gain weight. I finally get to go to Center for Discovery. It took so long, and I am so grateful. I am also scared. No one will like me. I am not worthy of being there. Everyone will gawk and say how fat I am. I will be humiliated. One of my friends moved in with me for a while. I hope that she doesn't leave when I leave. She is awesome. I am embarassed though because she sees me stuffing my face and sleeping all the time. How humiliating. I am pretty sick right now. Every step is a struggle. Every breath is jagged. I sleep with my arms behind my head in an attempt to make my heart hurt less and my breath come easier. I don't know how much it helps. I am scared. I am so weak I can barely pull myself up. Why? Everyone has noticed how cruel my brother is. Every word stings. I try to retort, but the words grow cold in my mouth, recede, what is the point? I will be gone soon. A special thanks to Pinkballoon who will be updating this blog for me, you are wonderful! And to an anonymous friend who will be checking my e-mail. I would be so lost without you. If anyone wants to write me while I am gone please e-mail me for the address! I would love to hear from you. It gets lonely... xoxo Gwen 12:19 a.m. - 2003-05-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
||||||