But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Food, The Destroyer Today has been a really bad day. Someone in my guest book said I am pessimistic. Figures. Another reason I suck. Anyways, my mom and brother came home with a bunch of grocery bags, and my mom had promised to take me grocery shopping. Instead, she didn't get me anything I asked for, just a bunch of pop tarts, cereal, and cookies for my brother. When I asked her why she said she got sour cream and guacomole for me. Those were for me? I just mentioned that we needed those for dinner if she was making enchiladas. She started yelling at me and then I noticed that she got my brother Hot Pockets. I asked her how come whenever I ask for anything like that she gets mad, and she yelled, "Well you just throw up behind the pool!" I was so humiliated! So my brother told her, and she yelled it in front of her husband. I raised my hand about to slap her and she yelled at me, so I stormed into the kitchen to put away all the food she bought for my brother. I could tell that we weren't going to the movies again. She told me that it was her friend's birthday and she couldn't turn it down. Figures. So the guacomole was for me... I opened it but there were no chips. When I mentioned this she immediately yelled at me, telling me she used them all in the last casserole. I threw it on the floor, feeling instant regret. She had just mopped it. "You bitch!" she yelled, "I just mopped that floor. You mess everything up." I stormed to my room, crying. "I am going to call the police on you before I kill you!" she yelled. I went back out there to clean it up and she yelled at me to go away. I was crying so hard. "I'll mop it up!" I said. She told me to go away, and I don't know what came over me. I got down on the floor which also had ammonia on it, and started to lick up the guacomole. She yanked me up and yelled, "Paul!" He came in, I was crying, and just said, "Gwen" in a kind voice. I walked off to the bathroom crying, lay down on the floor, and thought about drinking the ammonia. It wasn't that bad. It had burned my mouth a bit... Then my mom came in. She said, "Sweetie, what is it? Why are you so sad?" I said through tears, "Because you get Alex everything! You do everything for him. You take him and his friends everywhere, and whenever I ask to do anything you get mad. This is the third day we were going to go to the movies and now we aren't!" She said, "You are right. I do neglect you. You just don't do anything. What do you want to do? I'm sorry." I said, "I don't know..." Then she started yelling again and I stormed into her bathroom and locked the door, where I knew she couldn't bust into as easily. I opened the cabinet. Right there, a nice bottle of Tylenol. I opened it and thought about how nice twenty of them would be. I decided I could do it later if things got any worse. Than I came out, helped Mom get ready for her dinner party, and binged. I fell asleep, and when she came home she noticed the robe I had on had throw-up all over it. She said, "Oh, you get vomit everywhere! You need to wash that." So I went behind the pool, threw up, and then put the robe in the washer. Because my mom felt bad, she had picked up a movie at Blockbuster. She wants me to watch it right now... I guess I better go. I decided I am not going to school anymore. I hate school.I hate life. Why bother? I have no future anyway. On a more positive note, my weight was 96.5 this morning. Maybe before I die I will be thin. Sorry to be such a downer. Have a good day. *Dimstar 7:49 p.m. - 2003-01-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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