But The Quest for Beauty is a Beast. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What Went On I know it has been a while since I have written anything, at least for me, and I'm sorry. I still feel like crap. For the past few days I just lay on the couch, feeling like death would be more merciful than the pain I was in. I finally got up and took a shower today. Woo Hoo! I've been living on Jello, broth, and turkey sandwiches. As hard as it is, I decided that I'm not going to lose weight until the doctors figure out what in the hell is wrong with me. It is hard though. I'm so nauseated that I could make myself vomit everything I am eating, but instead I am forcing myself to keep it down. Kind of ironic, don't you think? The funny part is, I still got blamed when all the cinnamon rolls were eaten, but in reality it was my brother's friend who was staying the night. I tried to eat half of one when I woke up at 2:00am in binge mode, and got so sick that I ended up throwing even that much up. The last few days have been hell. I could barely make it to the bathroom, and don't remember much of anything that was said to me. In the hospital the one thing I do remember is that they told me I probably wouldn't remember anything they said to me, and Allen, one of the N.A's, said that I wouldn't even remember his name. I said, "Yes I will!" and he is the one person's name who I do remember. I guess I was really out of it. The highlight of my whole stay was having visitors, especially Kim. I was so happy to see her! She is one person that I can tell anything to, really. I even told her about how in the E.R when they were giving me that bootyshot to make me quit vomiting how the nurse noticed the burns on my leg and asked me what they were. I told her that they were from my anklet rubbing against my leg when I wear boots. I don't know if she believed me, but my mom did, thank God. The only bad part is that now my mom keeps telling me that I can't wear those boots anymore. O well. Better than her knowing the truth. It was quite comical in the E.R. The poor man next to me needed a catheter and the nurses were not at all suttle about it. Then I started puking in the room so loud that it echoed off the walls and could be heard all the way at the other end of the E.R. I could here the nurses talking about it. "O my, is that coming from room six?" "Oh, no, wait, that must be coming from room eight." "O my gosh, and thats that diabetic girl!" Next thing I know, everyone is running in my room. One lady is from the lab, another is holding a shot, and even two more are prepping an IV. I guess that is one good thing about sounding like a lion when you have the dry heaves. Everyone wants to shut you up and will do anything to make it happen. I have to go back to the doctors later today. Hopefully then I will find out why I feel so sick. If this is a crappy entry, I'm sorry. I am just too out of it to think clearly. Take care and all my love, Dimstar 1:35 p.m. - 2003-01-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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