Comments:

Bonnie - 2005-06-14 13:59:49
Dear Gwen, I'm sorry you had a rough night. I understand those kinds of tears. Tears of frustration because you're not sure why, but you do know that it's all just too much. And the only way to find comfort is to go back to the habits that cause us the most frustration. I would fly into a rage, breaking things, hitting myself, because feeling the pain was so much better than feeling the nothing. What helped me was medication, taking the medication like I was supposed to, and time. There were (and are) days that are nearly impossible to stand, but I try to remember that it's just one day, and that bad days are allowed and are acceptable. Eventually the bad days become fewer and farther between, and actually get outnumbered by the good days (and what a good day that is!) Please don't be hard on yourself, and I hope you have a lovely day with your friend. Take care, big hugs to you, friend! XOXO Bonnie
-------------------------------
Bonnie - 2005-06-14 14:54:05
Dear Gwen, I'm sorry you had a rough night last night. I understand that kind of tears, the kind of tears of frustration because you just don't know WHY, but you know that right now, it's all just too much. And the only kind of comfort that seems to work is the kind that fuels our frustration. I would fly into a rage, hitting myself, slapping my own face, anything to feel some pain because feeling the pain was better than the nothing. The things that eventually helped me were medication, taking the meds like I was supposed to, and time. I had to learn that there were going to be bad days, and that the bad days were necessary and acceptable. Eventually the bad days began to be outnumbered by the good days (and what a good day that was!) I know I say this every day to you, and I'm a nag and a broken record (do you even know what a record is, you youngster :^), but please try to not be hard on yourself. I hope you have a good day today, and have fun with your friend. Happy Flag Day! XXOO Bonnie
-------------------------------
Laura - 2005-06-14 15:06:19
((Gwen)), I sure know how you feel. Like a prisoner of my own thoughts and behaviors. I don't see you as selfish at all. In fact, I think you need to be more selfish, for lack of a better phrase. Share with whomever (my ears are open) about those selfish, mean people who have treated you badly. Put the blame where it belongs, which is certainly not on you. I hope you can enjoy the time with your friend. Take good, gentle care, sweetums. ~Laura
-------------------------------
tia - 2005-06-14 15:47:08
gwen, you will not die this way. i know you won't... you don't want to and where there is a will there is a way. you've been through so much with food that you are getting sick of it and you will fight back. i know you will because you want to and i know that you can. those tears show you how unhappy you are, and you CAN change it.
-------------------------------
Catie - 2005-06-14 18:52:50
((GWEN)) I am sorry that you had a bad night last night. Its good that you let the tears out thoug, better out then in. Emotions have a tendency to build on top of themsleves til finally they all come pouring out. I are not going to die from this, I won't let you and I know you won't let yourself. You are doing an awesome job fighting the ed don't give up now! Thats grea that your mom tried to comfort you, thats a huge step from before. You are a fighter as well as a survivor. you have come along way and will keep going! Keep your chin up and smile that wonderful smile :) Love ya!
-------------------------------
Catie - 2005-06-14 18:53:14
((GWEN)) I am sorry that you had a bad night last night. Its good that you let the tears out thoug, better out then in. Emotions have a tendency to build on top of themsleves til finally they all come pouring out. I are not going to die from this, I won't let you and I know you won't let yourself. You are doing an awesome job fighting the ed don't give up now! Thats grea that your mom tried to comfort you, thats a huge step from before. You are a fighter as well as a survivor. you have come along way and will keep going! Keep your chin up and smile that wonderful smile :) Love ya!
-------------------------------
Catie - 2005-06-14 18:54:55
Oh I forgot one thing. You are not selfish! You have a right to worry about yourself even if its not the truth! Take CAre!
-------------------------------
Jared - 2005-06-14 22:28:21
Hey how was lunch I heard you guys were going out I hoped you two had fun.
-------------------------------
Hel - 2005-06-15 02:18:08
I think sometimes it's good to let it all out in tears.
-------------------------------

add your comment:

your name:
your email:
your url:

back to the entry - Diaryland