Comments:

*joie* - 2005-06-07 12:17:16
I'm glad that you are back. I want to ask you to be carefull, to take care of yourself, you are wort caring for, but even as i write i feel like a hypocrite. Its hard to care for something that feels worthless, i know, and asking you to do that for the people that love you... sometimes thats just not enough. Just know that we care ... kimberly*joie*
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Laura - 2005-06-07 12:50:15
Hi Gwen, I am glad you are back, and here. You ARE alive and real and precious. Are you getting some professional help these days? We cannot do this alone- the voices are too strong and the habits too ingrained. Please spend some of that money on treatment if you need to. I believe in you!! Make one little healthy change today, okay? A little more insulin, more healthy food- let that spark in you express itself somehow. XO, Laura77
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Nic - 2005-06-07 12:59:31
Hey Gwen! I've been soo worried about you, as I've been waiting to see an update from you! Sweetie, you know where this is going to lead you....that path isn't different this time around, so please turn back while you can! I am so afraid that your bodu isn't going to take another round of this hell! Please take care of yourself, please try and make it through to see clearly again!! I'm thinking of you! Nic
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Me - 2005-06-07 13:56:21
you have help. people all around you are offering it. i wish you would take it. you know what you need to do. I know it isn't as simple as "just doing it" but you aren't alone--you never have and never will be. whether you believe it or not, gwen, you have so many options. You have a choice, you are making choices, you have control, whether or not you believe you do. I don't know how to help anymore--but i've come to realize that I cannot help someone who won't help themselves. I know you are doing what you feel you can do, I won't deny that. But there is more that people are offering to you that could, potentially, help, but you are either too scared, or just plain don't care--I don't know which. Since you wont return any of my calls, I'm leaving this here for you. I am not mad at you, never have and will never be. There is a difference between being mad at someone and frustrated with their eating disorder-you know that. I am here if you want me, but I won't push anymore. I can only put my hand out without any return for so long, gwen. It will still be there, but you have to make the decision now...and only you. only you can save yourself-and that sucks, but that is reality. I love you and want to talk to you. The phone is always on. It's up to you now, gwen. Lisa, Melissa, Me...we are ALL here and have never and will never leave you. Utilize us. You do have a future, gwen, and it isn't lying in the ground covered in dirt.
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Emily, ethereal-red - 2005-06-07 14:41:49
I know how you feel... my lowest point when it came to the bulimia was telling my parents the car needed gas, driving to a gas station (couldn't throw up in the toilet, my whole family was home and I won't throw up if I know somebody who knows me could hear me), throwing up in a plastic bag in the car and then taking a box of ex-lax. I threw away the bag in a garbage can outside of the gas station. I know how you feel with the whole constant dissociation... like the person doing the behavior isn't you, like you're standing back and watching her, and acknowledging that her life is so far from what you want it to be. I love you, care about you, pray for you and think of you all the time- and, as I told you before, my phone is always on: 651-283-0311. I'm here for you.
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leslie - 2005-06-08 03:31:17
you were missed, sweetface.
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Laura - 2005-06-08 10:04:55
((Gwen))I'm checking in with you again. Your e-mail scared me even further. I will be so devastated to hear that you have died. What an incredible shame, and loss of a beautiful person. Please put out a pinkie, and let someone take hold for a while. There IS hope. You cannot think clearly right now. Get yourself to an ER. Love, Laura
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Bonnie - 2005-06-08 11:00:21
Dear Gwen, Wow, you're not doing too well right now. I hope that you will continue to be as strong as possible and make more positive choices everyday. You have the strength and the will to carry on, I know you do. I believe in you and your power. We are all here for you and we want you to live. Please take care and let us help in anyway that we can. Saying a prayer, Bonnie
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